I've Met The Enemy...And She Is Us

Today marks 2 months since I started this endeavor... Let me try that again...  Today marks 2 months since I decided to get SERIOUS--and via a specific method. At the time, I didn't really know what it was called. After doing some research, I finally happened upon it:  Intuitive Eating. (For more info, check out the following link: http://www.intuitiveeating.org/)

I start reading the book ("Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program That Works" by Evelyn Tribole, MS, RD and Elyse Resch, MS, RD, FADA) and was shocked to see how much these two nutritionists had managed to read my mind--even my very subconscious! They have explained numerous mysteries as to why I've dieted, binged, started over multiple times, beat myself up, struggled endlessly, and essentially felt unable to trust myself with food. In fact, they've made me realize that I'm still operating according to the old rules sometimes b/c I don't fully trust my body to be able to drop the fat. Interestingly, even though I'm still not doing this correctly, I've managed to lose 28 lbs. Just think what I might be capable of if I manage to fully GET this!

Our bodies (and quite frankly, our minds) were NOT designed to follow regimented, measured menus. (Note: Yes! This is what the above-mentioned nutritionists assert! Which is why I LOVE them!) We were given hunger cues for a reason. We were given cravings for a reason. We were given taste buds for a reason. And NONE of them involve fat accumulation. I'm finally starting to believe this is really true!

Current areas of struggle:

I wish I was better at accurately detecting when I'm full. Quite frankly, 3 months ago I seemed to consistently go beyond it, whereas now I seem to consistently stop short--meaning I'm hungry again within an hour of a meal sometimes. But I hope to get better at it with each meal I eat.

I have a tendency to be legalistic about only eating when hungry. (Sometimes this is translated as ravenous.) If I think I've eaten an adequate amount during a given timeframe, it's sometimes hard for me to trust that my hunger pangs are necessary. But what I just learned via the above book is that our bodies can actually be making up for nutrients which were depleted days before--it doesn't necessarily always equate to the last few hours. Furthermore, eating a piece of bday cake when not technically hungry will NOT make the scale bump up 2 lbs the next day...or even the next! I'm just far my likely to "check in" with myself after a few bites to verify that I am, in fact, enjoying it. If not, why continue?

Then there's cravings. I don't worry near as much when I crave a kiwi as when I crave potato chips! Interestingly, however, I'm discovering that what they say about how much we eat of previously "forbidden foods" is drastically less when we stop thinking of them as forbidden. Consequently, I remind myself of my toddler--operating via reverse psychology far more often than I'd care to admit! Just tonight I actually got the potato chip craving and thoroughly enjoyed them. But here's the kicker...I ate TWO. Granted, I took multiple bites from each chip, savoring their flavor and texture. But when I got to the end of the 2nd one, I realized I didn't want anymore. What I GENUINELY wanted at that point was a banana. Is that not INSANE?!? (but in a totally good way!?!)

This is truly a journey--not a "lose weight quick" scheme. I'm having to learn things like patience in reaching my ideal weight, trust in my body's cues, and peace--with FOOD. I'm sure it will take a while for me to completely get this down, but I look foward to the day that I can realize I'm at least 90% there, and that as a result, I no longer stress about my waistline and all the ways the world around me can impact it. Food is not the enemy--I am. Rather, the voices I've let "guide" me all these years from the confines of my mind. No more! Freedom is in sight!